It's Great 2 B 8!

Sometimes you blink and wonder where the time went.  This is one of those times.

The memories of this little spice of life girl coming into our world still seem so fresh to me.  My remembrances are vivid.  I can still feel her breathing on my next as she laid ever so still on my chest in the NICU.  She was small and so extra fragile to me with all those tubes and gadgets connected.   When I finally got to hold her for the first time several days after her birth, I cried.  I still remember how I felt sitting in that chair and tear up now as I type just thinking about it. 

Although her beginnings were a little rocky, she has thrived and grown into such a beautiful and spirited girl.  It's amazing that she's already eight and now a full-fledged baptized member of the church.  Ryan had the great honor and opportunity of baptizing her last month on January 7, 2012, with so many family and some good friends there to support her.  It was an extra blessing that her little cousin, Lily, got to share this special baptism day with her.  They were only born a week apart.

Rowan Sue Brown and Lily Sue Berrey, both proudly carrying their Great Grandma Sue's name, just before they got baptized at the Lehi Stake Center on Saturday, January 7, 2012

Here they are together at Rowan's birthday party

Rowan with her school friend, Ava Driggs

Grandma Cheri came to the movie with us (The Chipwrecked movie) and helped me transport the kiddos

Ryan, Rowan, Lily and J.R.

Rowan's Aunt Jayme made her this cute candy poster for her baptism.

During Christmas break, we had our Weaver cousins in from Washington visiting for their Aunt Cami's wedding.  So we decided to have Lainey & Avery over for a sleep over, then the next day the Weaver boys, cousin Lily and friend Ava all came over and we went to the movies for Rowan's birthday.  We picked up Ned's Crazy Sub and ate cake afterwards for the best impromptu birthday party ever!

Diving Lessons

(Rowan on the high dive at Stapley today)

I really enjoyed spending the 10:30-11:30 am hour today at Stapley pool with my three youngers. We decided to do a session of swim and dive classes to keep them busy for the first couple weeks of summer. Yes, they all already know how to swim proficiently. Yes, we're in our own pool at home practically everyday. But still, there's something about lessons. They get pushed a little more and learn things that I never teach at home. Like butterfly stroke and backstroke (Afty's stroke stars class) and how to master the perfect back dive (Rowan's diving class). I'm not really sure if Easton is learning anything meaningful in his class, but he seems to be having fun with his fellow Sea Stars. I had to sign him up for the 5 year old class (they go by age), and the ability levels range all over the map in his group. He's the kid who tosses all 12 of our dive rings into the 10 foot deep end and has absolutely no issue with plummeting down to retrieve them and then doing it all over again. And again. But some of the kids in his class are just braving the head dunk and blowing bubbles. Still, at least it gets him out of the house and spending a little time with new kids and keeps him cool while his sisters dive and swim laps.

Rowan trying her first back dive. So proud of her! It's dang scary going off the diving board backwards. I'm sure I did it as a kid, but now...not sure you could pay me to back dive.

Great day. And the bonus was that I got to lounge in a chair for an hour in my suit and work on my tan (or what I hope will eventually become a tan) so I won't fry down in Rocky Point in a couple weeks. I'm getting super excited for a mango on a stick and some serious guacamole!

Her First

I know that aside from the actual tooth-loser herself and the famous money-delivering Kari (our family's tooth fairy), no one else besides me probably really cares that our little 7-year old beauty finally lost a tooth. But it was a pretty huge deal to her. She tearfully informed me on more than one occasion that she was the ONLY one in her first grade class that hadn't lost a tooth. The ONLY one...

So it finally came out last night, with the sweet assistance of her big sister, Barrett, who was more than happy to give it the final yank. Lots of blood (more than I remember with any of my kids' other teeth), and so, so tiny. I swear it was the tiniest tooth I've ever seen. And for some crazy reason, our tooth fairy has never taken one tooth in all her trips to the Brown house over the years. She leaves a note and some mula, but never does the tooth exchange. OK with the kids, I guess. They like their teeth collections...

She's Back

Here's our sweet Rowan, spending her Christmas break from school in Cardon Children's Hospital at Banner Desert. Thankfully, it was just a few days, but that was three days more than we wanted. Between the sickliness on Monday, the multiple doctor appts on Tuesday, and the hospital stay, the week was pretty much gone before it started.

The pediatric opthamologist she saw on Tuesday referred her over there on Wednesday after a couple of doses of antibiotics Tues and Weds morning didn't seem to be touching the infection. In fact, she was getting rapidly worse.

The pediatric emergency room got her in pretty quickly (within an hour), and she went straight to a triage room. There, she was showered with gifts by the nurses who were sad (along with Rowan) that she was spending her 7th birthday in the hospital. I was sad too. It was pouring cats and dogs outside while we sat cooped up inside the emergency room floor with no windows to the world. We were kind of sad and lonely together. And super bored.

Miss Rowan was very brave as they stuck her vein with a big needle and drew lots of blood for testing. Only a few tears were shed. They started her on IV fluids and gave her some Motrin for her fever. They took her in for a CT scan of her brain, which showed infection and swelling in her soft tissues around the eye and her sinuses, but no absessess of infection behind the eye or any foreign matter.

Then we waited and waited and waited for a couple more hours in this room on the emergency floor with all the patients who'd already been through triage too but were waiting on the next step. Waiting with six other families of sick kids and babies and siblings of those kids....in a room too close for comfort for six families. In a room filled with some lethargic kids hooked to IV's, some crying babies, a couple kids running around in only a diaper while their parents looked on, the smell of McDonald's fries and chicken nuggets about to make me toss my cookies. In a room where I was the only one speaking English and where the cartoons playing non-stop on TV overhead were making me nutty.

Until...the nurse finally came in and took a look at my face and knew that I was going nuts. She kindly said, "You know that Rowan's already been admitted, right? We're just waiting for a bed to free up." Nope, no one told me that. Thankfully, we only had to wait a few more minutes before she took us to a private room in the ER where Rowan started her IV antibiotics until her room upstairs was ready. Rowan and I were starving by then and had already eaten through my purse stash of granola bars and emergency crackers we stashed before leaving the house. Ryan came to the rescue with some food, and then we finally made it up to Rowan's room around 8:00 or so that night.

We loved our surprise visit that night from Bishop Uncle Jim. What a treat for Rowan! Rowan showed him her IV attachment to her arm, and Bishop told Rowan that he had one of those attached to him for EIGHT MONTHS while he was in the hospital with his cancer treatments. Rowan's eyes got big as she processed eight whole months...we were so grateful we were only there for a few days!

Here's our cutie pie sporting her IV on Thursday, with her eye looking marginally better.

The kids all came over to visit for a while on Thursday morning, and were happy to see that she was being well taken care of. Easton loved the "nourishment" station out in the hall where he could get awesome hospital ice to snack on, not to mention little cartons of orange sherbet ice cream from the freezer. Nice. Barrett and Afton and I cruised down to the cafeteria while Ryan stayed with Rowan, and they were duly impressed with all the food selections we had to choose from. In the world of a kid, those things are pretty cool.

After we were both sick of watching TV, we tried to kill time in the room by doing crafts. Grandma Cheri brought over some wood ornaments for Rowan to make and she also played with the fashion stencil set, courtesy of the nursing staff. Grandma Cindy, Corinne, and cousin, Lily, also came to visit and bring her birthday presents, as did our primary president and super awesome neighbor, Louisa LeSueur. (I think Rowan secretly enjoyed all the attention).

We put a puzzle together (actually, it was pretty much all me killing time while Rowan watched Disney Channel). Thanks, Grandma Cheri, for bringing it over. I texted her a picture once I was done, and she offerred to bring me some Buzz Lightyear puzzles she had in her stash. But I declined and decided to bust out my new Baldacci book, Hell's Corner, that Ryan got me for Christmas.

The hospital food was pretty so-so (and some pretty nasty), but at least the breakfasts were good. It's kinda hard to screw up breakfast...

Rowan and mom with matching wrist bands...

We were super thrilled when Rowan's nurse came to check on her around lunchtime on Friday. Rowan had finished eight rounds of IV antibiotics and the doc said that she was looking great and that we'd be able to leave that day! Hooray! Hooray! Heading home for New Year's Eve!

Before we left later that afternoon, the nurse took Rowan to this awesome toy closet (which looked like a toy store) so Rowan could choose a couple of parting gifts. Super sweet. She went home with a full nail polish set and of course, a giant stuffed orange shark because, really, who doesn't need one of those?

We spent New Year's Eve at home with the family, eating Tia Rosa's take out, watching Rowan open her presents, and playing a bunch of games. Rowan had a full on melt-down that evening as I'm sure she was exhausted from the lack of hospital sleep, just like me, and not feeling herself with all that medication in her body. She's still such a peanut - only 46 pounds. Thankfully, she crashed early and after 12 1/2 solid hours of sleep Friday night without a peep, she woke up Saturday morning like a new woman.

Now she's on oral antibiotics for two weeks, but she is doing fantastic. Looking great, feeling great. No more fever. No more swelling. The redness is gone. Smiles. A little sass. Just the way we like it :)

She's a Wreck

Our little soon-to-be seven year old, Rowan Sue, is a wreck. She's had quite the week. It started a week ago Monday. She came home from her cousin Lily's birthday party and collapsed on our living room floor at 7:15. She was out like a light in about 30 seconds. The next day, the fever started and she had some minor cold symptoms. Then it was low grade fevers off and on for the next couple of days, general lethargy, weak appetite. She rallied a bit on Thursday and early Friday, but on Christmas Eve night, she was fading again. We noticed a cold sore forming on her sweet lips.

She opened her presents on Christmas with little enthusiasm. She did manage to eek out a couple of smiles that day, but she was far from her typical self. By the time we got home from our day's worth of visiting late Christmas night, she was wiped out and had another cold sore forming. I had no idea what they were from. None of our family has ever had cold sores before. Sunday she went through the normal motions and was unusually quiet. No smiles. Wouldn't eat more than a couple of bites at any meal. We all spent Monday together doing errands, and stuff around the house, and ended the daylight hours at the church parking lot trying to get Easton to ride his bike (which he did, by the way, but not without some tears from the "big" fall).

Rowan was miserable yesterday afternoon and evening. Teary, emotional, tired, sickly looking. I was getting really worried about her, then the fever hit hard. She started complaining that her head hurt and her eyes looked so sick. She took some Motrin and Ryan and Bob gave her a blessing last night. She broke out her first smile in two days about a half hour later. She and I got on the internet and started researching "how to treat a cold sore" and then I headed to CVS to consult with the pharmacist. I came home with a couple of topical things for her lips and then she hit the hay.

Awake at 4:00 am, totally crying and holding her head. Telling me it felt like someone was poking a pencil in her eye and pounding on her head. Miserable. More Motrin for the fever. At 7:00 am, her eye was swelling and getting red, one of the "danger signs" to watch for (per the trusty internet) when you get cold sores, because if they spread to the eye, it can lead to blindness. YIKES! At 7:55, we started calling Mesa Pediatrics and finally got through a little after 8:00. By the time we got to their office at 9:00, her left eye was swelling more and looking worse by the minute. The docs huddled for a pow wow and we got a second opinion. Not looking good. No, really?

Then came the referral to the pediatric opthamologist. She slept for four hours straight between doctor visits and wouldn't eat a thing. Thankfully, the eye doc did a full exam and found no "herpetic legions" on her eye, which is fantastic, but said that he believes she has a serious bacterial sinus infection simultaneous with the fever blisters, the combination of which is making Rowan miserable. He started her on antibiotics. I am generally against them, but we conceded as her infection appeared to be advancing quickly and is dangerously close to her brain and eye. Rowan hasn't been to the doctor in years (literally). We might have had one other visit by one kid this past year, but I'm not even sure about that. We are a pretty healthy clan.

At 9:45 tonight, she said she was feeling somewhat better, the fever had gone down, but the swelling seems to be getting a little worse. I've been taking pictures to track it. The pediatrician has called our house twice already to check on her. They are all a little worried, right along with me, as she looks so bad. She's sleeping now, as I should be, and I pray that those tiny chewable pills will work their magic and get to her infection fast.

Tomorrow is Rowan's birthday. We had to contact all her little girlfriends and let them know her "Girls Day Out" party was cancelled. So sad. But she's in no shape for guests. We'll just have to reschedule once she's on the mend, which I pray is ever so soon.

She's Got the Look

Our beautiful little six-year-old wonder has got herself a new look...

Really, a new look on life.

Hooray, she can see! We picked up her new glasses last week after returning from vacation and now she's sporting her look all over Mesa. Isn't she adorable? I feel so bad that her vision was so bad before. I had no idea. She never complained a stitch about it until just after school got out. Poor thing. Double stigmatism. But how do you know if they never say anything? I guess it takes a little maturity for our young ones to really become aware of their environment and the fact that things aren't as crisp as they should be. I just wonder what triggered that realization within Rowan that, hey, things seem blurry. Does it just come on suddenly? Is a growing awareness? At any rate, I'm so glad I took her complaints seriously and we got her eyes checked.

I hope Rowan adjusts to wearing them consistently before school starts. I'm sure it will be great to actually see the board clearly next year, what do you think? It's only been four days that she's had them, so her eyes are still adjusting. She's been pretty good about wearing them several hours each day, and I really think she's enjoying the novelty of it all. Everyone keeps telling her how cute she looks. And she only cleans them with her special new cleaning cloth about 10 times a day.

Kinda fun I guess. Her sisters have been so good to her. They think she's extra adorable now and keep telling her that. Kind of makes my heart melt.

Good Season, Rockies!

Rowan had so much fun playing ball this season. It was her first year and she looked forward to every game. She wasn't ready for the season to end and was disappointed when we told her it was her last game. Thankfully, she cheered up at the prospect of trophies and a little party afterwards. And the treats. Sometimes it seems like it's all about the treats at this age. But I think it's good that they start early and develop a love for the game.

We lost a couple of players throughout the season (one moved up, one stopped coming) and then the week before the season ended, both Josh (the character giving the thumbs up) and Zeth (the kid in the back row) both broke their arms. So we ended the season with a team of six. Thank goodness it was coach pitch and one of Rowan's older sisters filled in for catcher. We almost fielded a full team. Kudos to my friend, Nicole (Josh's mom) for stepping in to coach and for Ryan being there to assist and pitch at all the games.

Check out that stance and those muscle legs. She's a little jock in the making.

I love this picture. I love that Ryan is right there on the field teaching Rowan how to be ready for the ball. Too bad that at age 6 the attention span only lasts about 3 minutes before the kids are looking around at the other games, waving to friends, picking flowers, talking to the opposing team base runners, or heaven knows what else. It was kind of funny watching the attention deteriorate over the course of the game, but mostly just a little frustrating. Instinctively, I just want them to already know and love the game and be so much better than they are. I know, baby steps. It takes time and practice and age, I get it. Still, I hope and look forward to future years at the ball park when the talent has developed and the drive is there. Not that I would wish this time away for anything - really, I wouldn't - but as I sit on the sidelines or base coach at third, I still hope.

I loved that Rowan was always aggressive at the plate and usually made good contact in her at bats. Look at that face. She's ready to hit!

It was fun to watch you play, Rowan. You had a great season and I am proud to be your mama!

Six Pack

This little amazing six year old is packed with emotion. With spice. With determination. With a fighting instinct and a sense of self. All packaged up into one petite, perfect little muscled body. I've confessed on more than one occasion that she is my trial at times. With such a strong personality and mood swings in the flash of an eye, we sometimes butt heads. Sometimes I think maybe we are just too much alike, but mostly I think I just have a low tolerance for drama. Either way, it makes for interesting times at our house.

But last night, I saw my most favorite heart-melting genuine full teeth grin from our fireball as she crossed home plate, running like a champ. She was full of the spirit and enthusiasm I love. This is Rowan's first year playing ball on a team, and she is loving it so far. She's on a co-ed coach pitch little league baseball team (they don't have softball leagues until age 7), and seems to be thoroughly enjoying herself. Granted, she and many of the others are just learning some of the basics of the game (like when to run, and where all the bases are, and where to throw it when the ball gets hit), but she is batting well and got three hits last night. Way to go, Rowan! We are excited to watch you and your team grow and improve all season long.

I'm so thrilled that she is following in her sisters' (and mother's and her grandmothers' and her Aunt's and her cousins') footsteps and is playing ball. It's pretty much part of our genetic makeup, I think. The Goodmans and the The Browns have a long history of being good ball players. I hope my girls keep it up. Next year, Easton will be joining the ranks, too.

In contrast to our little jock-ette in the making, I found these princess pictures that Rowan recently drew. This is how she often looks. Princess-like. Adorned with headbands and flower clips. Always preferring the skirt over the shorts. Lip gloss. Earrings. Maybe that's why seeing her in her baseball uniform made me smile even more. Just like her typical girly girl stuff, the uniform seemed to be perfect fit for her. I love that.

Miss Rowan's always got a pen and pad in hand, ready to color her world or write a quick sentence or two. It's normal to find little love notes on our bed, to find a new hand made card for no occasion at all sitting on my computer desk, or to find a little art treasure hanging on my scrapbook wall. She knows I love them. I'm not always sure what the motive is for her random acts of creative kindness towards me, especially when the hour before we were enduring the throws of a meltdown, but sometimes I think that her little messages or pictures to me are her way of reminding me that she does, really, like me, despite the things that come out of her mouth on occasion. My mom says that Rowan reminds her so much of me when I was little. A little sass. A little flare. A lot of feisty.

Rowan Sue Brown - our six year old wonder, ready for her first game of the season 3/26/10. We love you, Ro, and are so proud of you!

Happy 6th Birthday, Rowan!

Here she is.  Our birthday beauty!  Miss Rowan Sue turned 6 today...a little hard to believe.    This morning as I was braiding Rowan's long blond hair, I started reminiscing about Rowan's beginnings in this life six short years ago.   The trial seemed monumental to me at the time.  My first two pregnancies and deliveries were a piece of cake in comparison, and I'd never really experienced any significant adversity that compared.  But with the benefit of 6 years of hindsight and the wisdom and experience that comes with each passing year, I realize that our trial back then still pales in comparison to some of the adversity that others in our family and circle of friends have and continue to experience.  I am grateful for the life I have, for the trials I have been given to deal with in my life, and for the things I have learned along the way.  

Today, I am extra grateful for my sweet Rowan.  I am grateful that she is spicy and determined and headstrong and beautiful and loving and funny and smart...Yes, all those things and so much more, bundled together in one perfect little six year old package.  She gives me a run for money, that's for sure, but really...I wouldn't want it any other way.  I know that the strong personality she has developed so far is all part of the package she needed to endure her early life trials.  

She is truly our miracle baby.  No question.

Here are a few of my favorite pictures of Rowan from this past year.  Each makes me smile every time I see it.

Fourth of July in Rocky Point.   We have so many fun memories from the beaches of Mexico.  Rowan loves Las Palomas (the resort we stay at), and she loves going down there with our awesome friends, the Ellingsons, as well as with our fun cousins.  Check out her guns in this picture.  We always marvel at what a great little body our Rowan has.   She's totally ripped!

Barrett and Rowan did make-overs one day (as they do many days), and Barrett took this picture.  It was fun to see the 25 or more pictures from this little photo shoot and laugh at all the crazy expressions!

Rowan also really loves spending time at the cabin in Pine.  Both of these pics were taken this year during our various excursions up north.  We are so looking forward to spending more time there in 2010. 

In 2008 when we started doing P90X workouts, we'd often quote the funny lines from Tony Horton's workouts.  One of our kids' favorites was, "Do you have tickets to the show?"  Reply:  "What show?"  THE GUN SHOW!  And then they flex their muscles and giggle away.  Rowan truly has the guns!

Summer 2009 in Rocky Point.  Totally accessorized for a day at the beach.  So Rowan!

Just for memory sake, I thought I'd post of few pics from Rowan's first days of life.  I often go back and look at these and marvel that she has come so far.  

 

Here is our Rowan, just a couple of hours old, laying in the NICU, waiting for her surgery.  Rowan was born with gastroschesis, a condition that developed within weeks of conception.  The four walls that typically grow together around the umbilical cord to form the stomach never quite closed up.   A tiny hole was left open, and soon her intestines popped out and ultimately grew on the outside of her body.  They, along with a bunch of Rowan's other organs, were floating around in the acidic environment of my uterus, unprotected as they should have been by her own skin.   When she was born, Rowan's intestines, colon, kidney, ovary, fallopian tubes, and appendix were all on the outside of her body.

You can see her intestines pretty clearly in the picture above, just laying in a pile, all stuffed inside a sterile plastic bag to keep them moistened while she waits for the doctor to arrive.  

Every time I see this picture I cry.  I didn't get to hold Rowan when she came out.  In fact, I only got to see her for about 20 seconds before she was whisked away to the NICU.  When she was just about ready to head up to surgery (at 3 hours old), and after the doctor had stitched me all back up from the C-Section, they wheeled me up to the NICU to see my tiny angel for a short minute.  I got to touch her cheek and tell her I loved her.  The look on my face says it all.  I was heartbroken to leave her, but so grateful that she was in the care of an amazing surgeon.  Dr. Kelly Miller, who, with the undeniable help of our Heavenly Father, performed a miracle that day.  

My parents, Ryan's parents, and Ryan and I all waited in my room for hours, fading in and out of sleep, before the surgeon came in around 1:30 am on December 30th, to let us know that Rowan's surgery had gone remarkably well.  They were able to get all of Rowan's organs back inside in a single surgery, a feat they were not anticipating to be able to do given the magnitude of the organs and the trauma to her body.  In our prior meetings with the NICU doctors and surgeons, they had prepared us for a multi-stage process whereby they would attach a "sack" to her abdomen area, and gradually squeeze in all the organs over a period of days, culminating with the stitching up of her tummy at week's end.  They said the trauma to her body would be similar to a woman's journey from zero to nine months pregnant in one day.  Too much to bear in most cases.  But, to their surprise, all of Rowan's organs seemed to just "fit" back inside and they felt it was safe to do the single surgery.  

We were thrilled at the good news.  I cried as the doctor told us, "It was just so strange.  So easy.  Almost too easy. "  We knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that our prayers had been heard, that the fasting and priesthood blessings gave her strength, and that our Heavenly Father was watching over Miss Rowan and all those attending to her.  We were so blessed indeed.

The two days following Rowan's surgery were tough on all of us.  She laid motionless in her tiny NICU bed, attended to 24/7 by the amazing nursing staff, while she was resting under the blanket of a medically induced paralysis.  They told us that the stress on her body from putting her organs back inside was so intense that even the mere strain of breathing would cause more pain that she could bear if she were awake.  So they had to paralyze her while her body adapted. 

 

I finally got to hold Rowan, albeit for a very short time, on January 2nd.  I was thrilled to say the least!

 

Rowan recovered with amazing speed, again surprising all the doctors and nurses.  I was able to start nursing on January 10th, but she had a hard time latching on.  The feedings were slow and hard for both of us, but she eventually figured out that nursing was where it's at.  After a week or so, she had it down pat and ended up nursing for a full year.  I was getting so tired of the constant pumping that I was ultra thrilled when she finally came home and could nurse full time!

Rowan only ended up having to stay in the hospital for 19 days, which was much shorter than we were planning on during the pregnancy.  They had prepared us for 6 weeks to 3 months, but each day during Rowan's recovery they continued to comment on what great progress she had made.  

Barrett and Afton never got to see or hold their baby sister in the hospital, except for one short look through the NICU window.  When she finally came home, they were so happy to meet their baby sister.  Here are our 3 girls just a few weeks after Rowan came home.

 

Rowan thrived at home, developing quickly, but always measuring small.  Or petite, rather.  At each of her checkups, Rowan measured in the 5th - 10th percentile for her age.  But that was just fine because she was doing so well on all the other areas of growth and development.  Perfectly healthy.

You've come a long way, baby!

Happy 6th Birthday, Rowan!  You are such a blessing to our family.  We love you with all our hearts!