Body Image

Last night we had a great Relief Society meeting. A couple of sisters, one of whom (April Price) lives in an adjacent ward in our stake, came and spoke to the combined group of young women and Relief Society sisters about body image in today’s society. Their presentation was remarkable on many fronts. Their younger sister was diagnosed with an eating disorder about 3 years ago and admitted to medical rehab type clinic in Utah. April and her sister, Rachel, spoke to us about what they learned there and that they felt strongly that there was a message that needed to be shared. They have shared the presentation that we heard last night many, many times over the past three years.

I was floored as they showed statistic after statistic supporting the sad reality that young women and women in our society today have a pathetic view of their own bodies. Only 2% of women worldwide would describe themselves as beautiful. They said that 2/3rds of young women age 11-16 fear getting fat over getting cancer, a nuclear bomb, or their parents dying. In California, the #1 most wished for and granted high school graduation present is breast implants. Over 300,000 girls under age 18 get cosmetic surgery each year. The average amount spent my most leading magazines on optimizing their cover picture (both by human efforts and digital modifications) is $60,000. By the time we see the magazine images, they are of people who do not exist. They are genetic impossibilities. And I can’t remember the specifics on all the other stats, but over and over again they reported astonishing percentages of women who are dissatisfied with their bodies.

They reported that 30 years ago, the average model was 5’8” and weighed 132 pounds. Today, the average model is 5’10” and weighs 110 pounds.

Jennifer Aniston, while filming “Friends” years back, was working out 8 hours per day then filming 9 hours per day to meet the social ideal of the perfect body. Even then, it wasn’t enough. When she was featured on the cover of Redbook, they digitally altered her body to make her even thinner, and she sued. When Sandra Bullock starred in Miss Congeniality, she had 5 different body doubles, depending on what feature of her body they were filming.

Crazy. And the bottom line…all that today’s media does to portray the perfect body, the perfect face, the perfect hair, the perfect clothes…it boils down to money. If the advertisers can make us feel bad enough about ourselves or inadequate, then we will go out and spend money trying to “fix” things. The adversary is trying hard to make us feel less than we are. He knows that the women living in today’s world have to be valiant and strong to overcome the incredible temptations in our society.

Three gems that I loved from their presentation:

1) April said, “I have never looked through a Pottery Barn catalog and felt better about my house after having done so.” The same holds true with just about every magazine we pick up.
2) They played a bunch of clips throughout the program from various general authorities and leaders of the general Relief Society and Young Women’s Boards. One was from Sister Tanner. I am paraphrasing, but in essence, she said that she learned a great lesson from her mother growing up. Sister Tanner suffered from serious complexion issues as a teenager, and her parents helped her seek medical attention to clear it up. She changed her diet and eliminated greasy foods and such, but still had a bad problem. Exasperated, Sister Tanner was left feeling bad about herself. Her mother taught her valuable lesson. She told Sister Tanner that we need to do all that we can to make ourselves beautiful and presentable before we leave the house. But as soon as we walk out that door, forget about ourselves and start thinking about how to best serve others. I love that. I, too, agree that we need to be groomed and spend some time making ourselves as lovely as we can, but then let it go, forget the looks, and just enjoy life and serve others.

3) At the beginning of the presentation, April retold a story that she was told by Amy Ahlstrom, our Stake President’s wife. Amy’s friend, Carol, had a neighbor who religiously walked his three dogs every day. Carol would often see him out and about on the streets and passing by her home with those three pets. One was a greyhound, one was German Shepherd, and one was a small poodle. Carol wondered if the poodle ever wished it had long, slim legs like the greyhound. Or whether the greyhound wished it had the beautiful coat of the German Shepherd. Or whether the greyhound wished it was small and petite like the poodle. MOST CERTAINLY THEY DID NOT. And even if the greyhound wished and wished and wished, every day, and worried and worried and worried, and dieted and exercised till the cows come home…that greyhound would never be small and petite like the poodle or have the coat of the German Shepherd. That greyhound came from a greyhound mama and a greyhound papa. Being a poodle or a German Shepherd was a genetic impossibility.

I could make the connection to complete the analogy, but I am sure you all get the point.

So…I was thinking all about it all night and, admittedly, I am a little guilty of wishing I had the legs of a greyhound or was petite like the poodle. I know I suffer from body image stress at times. If we are honest, I think we all do. How can we not to some extent with all the media messages we are bombarded with daily? I’ve never been one to stress about the scale. In fact, I’ll go months without standing on it. I want to feel comfortable in my clothes, of course, but I don’t obsess about the weight. Life is too short. And I don’t diet. I like food too much. But I do compare myself to others. I do wish my “problem” areas would just melt away. I do long for so-and-so’s skin, and so-and-so’s legs, and so-and-so’s height. I wish that the boobs still looked as good as they did 20 years ago, and the back fat rolls would spontaneously dissolve. Truly, I think that’s how we’ve been culturally sensitized to think. There’s always an ideal to shoot for and it’s not often what’s staring back at us in the mirror.

I loved April’s reassuring messages of hope and reminders about our purpose in life. As I thought about body image, and more importantly, what messages I am conveying to my dear, beautiful pre-teen girls about their body image, I reaffirmed that I just want all of us to LIVE STRONG. My mantra for 2010: LIVE STRONG. If we are eating healthy and regularly exercising and getting enough sleep and avoiding harmful substances (sound familiar…Word of Wisdom 101), then we must be happy with the resulting bodies that God gave us. And I think, generally, I am. These past couple of years as I’ve made changes in my life to be more fit and eat better and get more sleep, I’ve really decided that WELLNESS is a state of mind, not a state of being.

As I end this very long post, I hope that all of us can remember that we were given the bodies we have and born to the families we were born to for a reason. Each of has come to this earth to gain a physical body and be tested. I hope we can pass the test. If you missed April & Rachel’s presentation last night, you missed a good one. I was so touched and inspired.

The Hill I'm Climbing

My week just seemed to fly by. I know...what's new, right? But seriously, just FLEW! I haven't even felt like I've had a free moment to breathe let alone blog all week. In reality, I have had plenty of free moments...I've just chosen to do other things with them. Other things that have seemed more pressing I suppose.

I did steal a few hours on Tuesday to do some much anticipated reading while I was traveling to and from Park City on business. I started Sarah Palin's Going Rogue in early December and was loving it, but ended up putting in on hold over the busy holidays. I've been itching to pick it back up and learn more about that amazing woman. That's a whole post in and of itself. I'd like to say I'll be done with her autobiography this weekend, but I know I won't take the time to read it again until after I've tackled some of my "big rocks". I seem to view leisure reading as a reward for finding free time in my life, so it may be another week or more before I finish it off. I did get another 150 pages or so read on Tuesday and now think that Ms. Palin is even more amazing.

I think I'm sort of in a little funk too. I have a few big things weighing on my mind...you know...those monumental to-do's that seem to consume more than their fair share of your brain power. And until you feel like you've tackled them, it's hard to focus on much else? Ever feel that way? Well that's me right now. I wouldn't say overwhelmed, because I'm really not there yet. And I usually don't let myself feel overwhelmed. It's such a negative and all-consuming state of mind. One that often paralyzes you into inaction. Perhaps preoccupied or a little less in command might be a better way to describe it.

So amidst the typical busyness of daily life, motherhood, work, homemaking, church service, and all else that folds into our daily paths as women, I've been brainstorming and scheming and planning and tackling and maybe even worrying a little...

With a bunch of CPE renewal hours to finish up for my bi-annual CPA recertification coming due at month end, a 10k next Saturday, 1099's due for our subcontractors at month end, planning our Ward Adult Valentine's Party on Feb 13th, and the beginnings of planning our 20 year high school reunion, I'm trying to keep the scales in balance. And of course, there are all those other, smaller "to-do's" that are begging for my attention too. Things like helping Barrett plan and execute the creation of a scale model castle for her ELP class, finishing up a quilt I really want to finish that's sitting half done, catching up on office work, and working on closing out year end stuff in our financial life to name a few.

The next couple of weeks will be busy for sure. But we'll get through them, and hopefully have some good times to remember along the way. I still have much to be grateful for. The kids are all pretty much back in good health (hopefully no more pink eye around here for a long, long time). We've been blessed with incredible amounts of rain this week. I've somehow managed to keep my 2010 goals going strong, and really...I am so happy. It seems like we're working twice as hard for half as much as we were in the really good economic years, but we both have jobs and plenty of food on the table. And then some.

So no complaints. The hill I'm climbing might seem a little steeper than normal, but I'll make it up and over soon, and find my way to a more comfortable pace very soon.

LIVE STRONG

Two months ago today I ran in my big race. That same afternoon, Ryan and I dragged our kids to Runner's World on the way home from a family picnic so that Ryan could pick out some running shoes. He got the "itch" to start running after being at my race and thought it would be fun to do the Turkey Trot with me 12 days later. No prior training. It was only going to be 6.2 miles. He had plenty of time to train, right? Twelve whole days. How hard could it be? It turned out to be a little harder than he thought, but he ran the whole time and finished the race.

Post race, Ryan thought it would be a good idea to do a long strenuous hike with his buddies the day after black Friday, and then follow that up with tons of walking at the ASU vs. U of A football game (we'd had our tickets for a month and there was no backing out. We were both pumped for the game). A few days later at his weekly softball games, he felt some pretty bad pain in his knee. By the end of the night, he said he could hardly even make it to first base. It took him almost two months to get that knee recovered from the strain.

Too much, too fast.

He needed to work up to it.

The day we went shopping for Ryan's running shoes, the kids were all tired (and so was I), and none of them really wanted to be there. It took longer than we expected, and they were soooooo ready to leave by the time we finally left the store.

To kill the time while we waited, though, we walked around the store quite a bit, checking out all the displays, gadgets, and latest running finds. Unfortunately by then, my feet were so tired and legs so sore, that all I really wanted to do was sit down. Or sleep. Nevertheless, every few minutes, we'd get up and take a lap around the store, browsing here and there, trying to keep the peeps occupied. And every time I started to look around, I kept being drawn to one certain rack.

It was a rack on the far left hand side of the store in the women's section. Displayed prominently on the rack was Nike's new clothing line which sported a tag line I have come to love:

L I V E S T R O N G (followed by the Nike swoosh).

I went back over and over, checking out the shirts, and just knew that one of them needed to go home with me. I was in love with that mantra.

Live Strong.

How perfect. It's my new slogan. Did I mention that I bought the black t-shirt with the bright yellow "LIVESTRONG" and it's pretty much my most favorite shirt ever?

Over the past two months, I've had a number of opportunities to sport my new shirt. I was actually thinking about taking a picture of it for my post, but it's in the laundry since I just wore it to yoga Tuesday night. I was looking for it tonight to wear to volleyball, then remembered I needed to do some wash.

I've been thinking a lot about that slogan lately. Kudos to the Nike marketing woman (I'm assuming such brilliance came from a woman) who came up with the tag line.

For me, living strong is more than just running. It's more than working out. More than eating healthy. More than being fit. More than getting enough rest. It's all that and more. It's a lifestyle. It's an attitude, a commitment, a desire to be "well." Living strong is not dieting, but making general wise choices about nutrition. Living strong is taking opportunities to play, get your heart rate up, be physical, and enjoy the outdoors. Living strong is knowing your body and pushing it to do great things.

But living strong takes some practice. And sometimes it takes longer to get from zero to sixty than we'd like. We want it now. We think we can reach the high hurdles when we've just barely learned to jump. Like Ryan, sometimes if we take off too strong and try to do too much too fast, we'll burn out and pay the price.

I think that happens sometimes with our New Year's Resolutions. If you are like me (and so many others), we are beyond ambitious in our goals and expectations. We have great intentions to make huge changes in just about every area of our lives, and think we should be able to do it all in 12 days. It takes time. Just like I couldn't have run a half marathon without proper training, practice and dedication, I can't expect to meet my goals in other areas of life without equal long term diligence. It just won't happen.

I've also been thinking about my new mantra in another light. Even as perfect a slogan as it is for our physical well-being, I think "LIVESTRONG" is the ideal slogan for life in general. Live strong in the gospel. Live strong in your relationships. Live strong in your service to others. Live strong in your work. Live strong in your values. Live strong at school. Live strong with your family. Live strong with your spouse.

Man, what a better world we'd live in if we would all commit to LIVE STRONG.

Best

I had an email conversation with a very good friend of mine yesterday about our kids, their education, our school system, and our dreams. Admittedly, I haven’t really thought outside the box that much when it comes to education. I was a product of the public school system, and I think I turned out OK. Reflecting back to my formative years, I think I had a good overall experience, learned quite a bit, studied hard, got good grades, earned a scholarship and went on to get my fully-paid-for degree at a state university. I starting interviewing for my first real career job during my senior year at ASU, and had my job offers lined up before I graduated. Launch career mode and I’ve never really looked back.

Nothing too out of the box about it.

And even though I dealt with the all the normal stresses of teenage life and was subject to the influences of the world through my years in the public schools, I am still glad I went through it. Sure, I wish I would have made some different choices and bypassed some “leaning opportunities” that came via consequences of poor choices. But who wouldn’t say that? I’d be shocked if any of us now functioning, basically-on-the-right-track parents could look back to our youth and say with sincerity that they would have done it all the same. I think we all wish we’d made some different choices here and there.

But even with all that, I loved high school. (I probably could have done without junior high, but I pretty much think that’s a globally accepted view with 20+ years of hindsight.) I loved going to football games, school dances, seminary, student council, orchestra, being on the softball and volleyball teams, going out for lunch with a carload of girlfriends, dating, social life, and yes…school. I have a lot of fun memories about growing up. All of that – the good and the bad - at least in some way was part of the “coming of age” process that made me who I am today.

So when Ryan and I started our family years ago, I guess I really always thought that my kiddos would follow a similar track. Even though our children are still quite young, we have always stressed the importance of doing well in school. Study hard. Get your homework done before you play.

Do your best!
Do your best!
Do your best!

They’ve all listened to my stories about working hard in school and how it all paid off in the end. Even my 9 year old knows all about scholarships and is working hard to get one. They don’t talk about college as in “if” I go, but “when” I go and “where” I’ll go. The expectation and bar has been set high, and I’m OK with that. OK because all I can really ask and hope for is that they do their best, and if their best is outstanding, then so be it. That’s their bar. They are reaching it. God blessed them with great minds. They can do anything they put their minds to.

Now…with all that being said, I have to admit that my perspective was broadened and my “ in-the-box” thinking was challenged a bit as I listened to the perspective of my dear friend. She’s setting a new bar with her family and challenging the status quo. She’s helping her kids reach their “best” in ways I’d never even contemplated. They are learning and thriving and undoubtedly, will be successful in their endeavors. Those kids come from a great home with amazing parents and are destined for greatness.

The world today is so different than when I was in school, and that wasn’t even that long ago. It was just 20 years ago that I graduated from high school, which in the grand scheme of things, isn’t that long ago at all. With public displays of homosexuality being generally accepted as “normal” on many high school campuses today, rampant drug use, widespread pornography, tattoos and body piercings abounding, foul language, and all other sorts of indecency that is part of today’s socially accepted pop culture, it made me really start to wonder.

Wonder if my kids will have what it takes to withstand the temptations of the world as they make their way through their teenage years.

Wonder if we are teaching them enough.

Wonder if we are bearing enough testimony of gospel truths.

Wonder if they’ll find good friends to help keep them on the straight and narrow.

Wonder if the educational “track” we are on is the best one for our children.

Wonder if my “best” as a parent will be enough to help them become their best.

So as I contemplated all these things as I drove to the temple this morning in the dark, quiet hours, and then sat in that beautiful room at the end of my session, I offered one of the most earnest prayers I can remember offering in quite a long time. It wasn’t long or complex. But the tears flowed as I poured out my heart in gratitude for our children and asked for help as I strive to be my best for them.

2010

I've heard it a hundred times.

Write it down. Write it down. Write it down.

A goal not written down is just a wish.

So I'm writing them down this year. 2010 is going to be a terrific year. It's already off to a great start. It's only January 3rd and we've already accomplished a few big projects around our house. I blogged about the pantry makeover. Tonight we went to Home Depot and bought a shelving system for Barrett's closet. Ryan and I installed it at 9:00 tonight and Barrett started reorganizing her room. She finally dropped off after midnight.

I've got 2 days of running under my belt (Rowan rode her bike along with me for the full 4.5 miles yesterday), 2 days of scripture reading done, both our garages cleaned out (thanks to Ryan), and I took a great photography class on lighting Saturday afternoon from Amy Fraughton. It was awesome! I can't wait to do silhouettes of my kids!

(I took this picture yesterday in my photography class!)

So...so far so good. 2010 is starting off strong.

Here are my ambitious personal goals for 2010. But what the heck? If you think you can or think you can't, you're right.

So I'm thinking I can and that's a great start. Here are my top 10, not necessarily all in order.

1) Read my scriptures every day.
2) Go to the temple every week.
3) Keep running & training at least 3 days/week.
4) Compete in at least 3 races (my first one is January 30th - London's Run).
5) Train for the Grand Canyon Rim to Rim. We're going in September!
6) Improve my photography by taking classes and doing more shoots. (I got a new lens and Photoshop CS4 for Christmas! I am so thrilled!)
7) Read more. With my kids. On my own. Always keep a book going.
8) Date my husband every week.
9) Stay caught up on my home office work.
10) Accept the "10 in 2010" challenge. (I'll post about that this week).

And there's more...all the financial stuff and such...but these are my personal ones. So I'll post about progress as the year moves along. Good books I am reading, the races I'll run, fun times with my husband, and of course pictures all along the way to document the lives of our beautiful children and the memories we are creating together. We have a great life and I never want to forget...

Lights & DQ Swirls

One of the things on my December "to do" list was take the family to see the beautiful temple lights. We planned it for Family Night on the first Monday of December, but it ended up raining all that afternoon and night. Then we thought about the following week, but something else came up, and before we knew it, Christmas was only 4 days away. So we finally made it on December 21st, the last Monday before Christmas.

That was a big mistake! Apparently, just about every other family in the valley had the same idea. The temple grounds were packed like I've never seen them before. Wall to wall people just inching their way down the paths, weaving in and out among bundled up moms and dads pushing kids in strollers while trying to keep an eye on their walking little ones. It was crazy! One of my kids said, "There's more people here than at Disneyland!" I smiled and said, "You might be right!"

So...even though it wasn't exactly ideal conditions from a crowd perspective, we still got to see the amazing lights, and we spent the night together as a family. I love that! Of course, what FHE would be complete without treats, right? So we capped off the night with a little DQ action. No, not the DQ by the temple because that, too, was insanely busy. Instead we drove a couple of miles to the next closest one and indulged in chocolate shakes and peanut buster parfaits and Oreo blizzards. Oh, and one large order of fries for good measure. Afton watched as the worker made the swirl on a sundae she was preparing, and asked me if my swirls used to look like that.

Oh, those were the good old days. I worked at DQ from the ripe young age of 13 (the end of 7th grade) until the first month of my freshman year at ASU. Five and a half years! Yes, I think I started working illegally, but I sure felt like hot stuff having a real job in the seventh grade. I am pretty sure that no other kids had good paying minimum wage jobs like me! They were all babysitting or throwing papers for cash at that age.

Our kids have heard all my DQ stories of old and believe that I was the master of the DQ swirl. (Maybe because I've told them that so many times!) They were duly impressed a few years back when we ate at the buffet at Amazing Jakes where they have a soft serve machine in the dessert section.

It was just like riding a bike.

My auto pilot kicked in and I made a perfect three tier sundae, complete with the ultimate DQ swirl and all. The girls marveled at the creation and each asked for one of their own.

They've heard all about the zillions of blizzards I whipped up, the super fun nights that my cousin Julie and I had working the Drive Thru, the Friday night shifts after the Toro football games when pretty much the whole campus showed up for food, the perpetual stripe of ice cream across my bosom from the blizzard machine, and how I hated the smell of ice cream after a couple of years. Yes, ice cream has a smell believe it or not!

I've also told my kids about how DQ was my springboard into the "real" work world. It was my first job, my first chance to really have independence and bigger responsibilities in life, my first opportunity to manage my time in any real meaningful way. I shuffled school, violin, student council, year around high school sports, social life, church activities, and work all my growing up years. I worked year around - usually 3-4 days/week during the school year (1-2 days during the week and 2 days on the weekend), and then a little more during the summer months. That job, working at the family DQ, taught me so much about managing money and time and priorities. I am grateful that my Grandpa Harry, and Uncles Dale and Jim had the foresight to start that business. It gave all of us Goodman kids a great opportunity to work. That, coupled with the chores we always had growing up and the great work examples of our parents, helped us learn the value of hard work.

And you know what? I've been working ever since. Ever since May 1985. I know the world is a little different now, but I sure hope that our kids find a good opportunity to start working at a young age, too. For them, it might be working at RMB Properties (actually, they already do a little work there cleaning the office and metering envelopes and such). And they are getting some good work experience doing yard work with their grandpas. Whatever it is, I want them to all have jobs growing up. I think today's kids would be so much better off if they had to work a little for the things most have come to expect as basic necessities.

Oh...that was a long digression for sure...Back to the temple lights. Here is our family together in front of the Mesa Temple. A kind stranger walking by saw me trying to gather the peeps together for a shot and offered to take our picture.

My favorite part about the annual temple lights is actually the nativity set up on the southeast part of the temple grounds, just up from the reflection pool. I love looking at the humble setting where our Savior was born. I've often thought what it must have been like to give birth to a baby in a stable over 2000 years ago. Just knowing what all the aftermath of the birth is like - all the mess and all the care that the nurses typically give. Had I been born in Biblical times, or even in a third world country today for that matter, my birthing experiences would have been nothing like they turned out to be. Mary was a remarkable chosen woman for sure.

I am the luckiest mom and wife in the world. I love these guys more than anything!

MVD

Not to be confused with MVP: Most Valuable Player or
MVT: Mountain View Toros or
DVD: Digital Video Device.

Nope.

MVD: Motor Vehicle Division.

A true melting pot.

People watching at its finest.

It ranks right up there with the airport and blood labs in terms of the interesting mix of people you see.

It’s where I spent my lunch hour and then some today. Much to my dismay, my driver’s license picture apparently was due for a refresh (I guess they only let you keep your picture for 12 years). I’ve been putting it off for months now, but recently was reminded that I needed to get that done due to some MVD misfortune in the life of a relative to remain nameless.

So why not today? Today seemed like a perfect day to go. Mid-week, middle of the month. No lunch plans. No urgent shopping or errands. I looked up the locations online and was delighted that there was one not too terribly far from my office. I work in the Esplanade at 24th & Camelback, right across the street from the Biltmore. The closest MVD office was at 28th and Washington, so I figured I’d just pop in and out real quick.

NOT.

There was no “popping” and nothing “quick” about it. The man who assisted me assured me that today was slow compared to a typical Monday or Friday. Slow? Is that what you call a line out the door (literally) and a packed waiting room? So glad I didn’t go on Monday or Friday.

On the way there, I hit every single light red. Every one. And I’m pretty sure that everyone with a car in central Phoenix was in it today at 12:00. Crazy lunchtime traffic. Call it Christmas I guess. I did take the opportunity to read lots of bumper stickers and billboards and check out the scenery of aging central Phoenix as I journeyed south on 24th street towards Washington.

One billboard that caught my eye was plastered with a Coke ad. The picture showed two bottles of coke packaged together, with the tagline “New 2-pack. Enough for your whole meal.”

As if we don’t get enough caffeine and sugar in one 32 oz bottle of pop. Now we need two 50-ouncers at a sitting to jack our metabolism into overdrive. Nice.

I also watched with sadness as a quite heavy-set elderly woman limped in slow motion across the crosswalk, taking the full 30 seconds to cross, cigarette burning in one hand, shopping bags in the other, clearly living a hard life.

Even more disheartening was the sight of 7 firefighters/paramedics crouched around what appeared to be a large pile of a man on the sidewalk at Washington and 24th, in an attempt to resuscitate life. No cars around. No signs of an accident. Perhaps a full-time pedestrian. Very sad indeed.

The MVD provided its own set of unique characters from all walks of life, every shade of skin, several languages being spoken, multiple cultures and religions manifest through headdresses and gowns, Jesuit school uniforms, tattooed symbols and crosses. I was clearly overdressed for the crowd, coming during my lunch hour and all, dressed in my gray slacks, sparkly turtleneck and high heels. And I was clearly the minority today as I sat in the waiting area with at least 50 other Arizonans waiting their turn to meet face to face with one of the MVD employees.

But in the end, I am really not much different than any of them. Not too different at all. We are all children of God. All of us. Me, you, the old lady crossing the street, the homeless man on the sidewalk, the tattooed teenager in the waiting area, the government worker behind the counter, the 4-year old little girl wearing a headdress. All here because we chose Christ’s plan in that great council in heaven before we came to earth. All trying our best to make it through this life and make sense of it all. All pursuing joy and happiness in our own ways.

I am beyond grateful today, however, that in my quest for happiness and joy, that I know where I came from, why I am here, and where I am going. So grateful for the incredibly blessed life I have and the gift of family. So grateful for my Savior, Jesus Christ, and the incredible sacrifice he made so that I can return to him someday with my eternal family. So grateful to be me.

And so glad that my new DL picture is good for another 12 years…

A Scorpion, a Devil & a Christmas Tree...among other things

Another one bites the dust. Yep, I just killed another scorpion right inside the laundry room door coming in from the garage. One of our "hot spots." Chances are that all six of us stepped right over the miserable creature as we walked in the door from our family dinner tonight. I went back in the laundry room just a few minutes later to lock up, and there she was. Lying in wait. Unfortunately, the bottom of my Roxy flip flop did the honors, so I washed it off in the sink. Barrett laughed at me as I smirked and gave the creepy body shutter. I'm not a big fan of the scorpion hunt. Ryan is our designated hunter, manned with a killer blacklight and that "I can kill bugs cause I'm a man" attitude. Thank heaven for him. I hate scorpions! Not that he likes them any more, that's for sure, but at least he can hunt them like a good husband should and not be scared like me. The last one I killed was 2 weeks ago while Ryan was out of town in Ohio. I went out to the food storage room to put something in the fridge, and BAM! There she was. Right in front of the freezer. So glad I was wearing shoes. Not that I ever really go out there barefoot after living in this house for 5+ years. I know better.

On a lighter note, I registered Ryan, Barrett & Afton for the Turkey Trot just now. It's going to be a family affair. Ryan and I are running the 10K, and the girls are doing the 1 mile fun run with Jessie and her girls. Should be fun! I think 5 or 6 of my cousins are running the 10k too along with a few thousand of our closest Mesa friends. That event is always packed!

Barrett missed church today as she was claiming a stomach ache and near vomitting. Turns out that she started feeling better this afternoon and now seems fine. While I truthfully don't think she was faking it at all, I'm sure a lack of sleep and being super tired added to her "sickness" this morning at 7:00 am. Amazing what a little rest will do to help you recover :) It was so weird being there without her. She never misses. And we missed her. Church was good. Talks by the Hollands on honesty and service. Good messages for this Thanksgiving season for sure. I substituted in primary again today too, although today I was teaching Afty's class. Holy moly. It was crazy. There were only 6 kids (3 girls and 3 boys) - all 8 and 9 years old. But the contrast couldn't have been more vivid. The girls were angels and boys were...well...not so much.  And I'm being kind.  One in particular was pretty much a little devil.  I'm not sure if the total lack of respect and talking out and unbelievable wiggles and inappropriate comments were a result of sugar highs, sassiness, ADHD, or just the fact that he's a 9 year old boy, but I was frustrated! I kinda want do-overs so I can start fresh and see if some different tactics would have made an impact. All my Love and Logic skills that I've read about and been practicing at home were lost somewhere in my memory banks.  I should have taken the same approach as I do with my kids and finally given him the choice to participate with our class in a respectful way, or choose to go to Relief Society.  I took him out once for a talking to, and later in class asked him twice if he wanted to go to Relief Society.  He declined.  But I failed...I should have held firm, stopped the warnings and given the old, "Well, by the way you are choosing to act, it appears that you have chosen Relief Society.  Let's go."  And then escorted him out.  Maybe next time... 

And finally, the highlight of our afternoon...WE PUT UP OUR CHRISTMAS TREE TODAY! Hooray, hooray, hooray! No, it's not decorated yet, but all 12 feet of our tree is up and lit and beautiful. Just begging for decor. Either tomorrow night or Tuesday night we'll hopefully get to the decorating. The kids are super excited to help! That's one tradition we always look forward to. While we were putting the top section on the tree, Ryan asked if we'd ever had our tree up so early in the season before. Nope. This is a first for us, but I am really excited about it. It makes me feel on top of things a bit more. Like I'm ahead of schedule or something. We'll see how long that feeling lasts...

Tired, but Good

Tired, so tired. Yet still I go, go, go. Right now I want to stop, stop, stop, and find a place to lay my head. I think it all started on Saturday with a very long run and full day of busyness “de-beaching” the Brown house. Then a good date night, late Saturday night and early Sunday morning rise for church. Sunday afternoon, one of my most favorite times, went by far too fast, and before I knew it, I’d missed my window of opportunity to sneak in a nap. Sunday night dinner at Grandma Cheri’s was super delicious and fun to spend time with family. Again, not enough sleep on Sunday night, which turned into a very early Monday morning with my jogging feet canvassing the asphalt in the wee hours of the day.

Monday whizzed by with a crazy busy catch-up day at work after a week of vaca, a terrific FHE with the family, late night computer work, bed, up again Tuesday for more running. 6 miles, followed by a never-sit-down-except-for-the-car-ride kind of day. Errand city with Easy E, finished the beach laundry (oh glory day!), parent teacher conferences, guitar lessons, spaghetti dinner, kids run through the wash, rinse & dry cycle, and off to the U2 concert, which by the way, took us almost 2 hours to get to. Seriously, it was the most insane traffic ever! We were basically bumper to bumper on the 202 from Dobson in Mesa to 43rd Ave.

We finally made it to the parking lot of U of P Stadium at 99th Ave & Bethany Home at 7:55, just in time to catch the last 2 songs of the Black Eyed Peas, who opened up for U2. The concert was definitely good (and packed and loud), but I wished we were sitting down lower in the $$ seats. I guess I need to admit that, on select occasions such as this, I am OK with forking out a little extra cash when it comes to a good concert and being up front. Thank goodness for the jumbo-trans. And it was long! U2 didn’t come on until just after 9:00 and they played until 11:25. Triple encore. A couple of world hunger pleas, and finally, they finished. We had taken Barrett & Afton with us (Ryan wanted them to experience U2 at an early age) and they were pretty dang tired by the end. But I’m glad they went too. What a cool thing to be able to say you saw U2 at ages 11 and 8!

I think my favorite song of the night was the acoustic performance of “Caught in the Moment.” I love it when they go old school and lose some of the noise. I love hearing every note of the guitar and being able to understand the lyrics with clarity, absent the drums, keyboard, and bass guitar. And The Edge – man he has a great voice! No doubt he’s an outstanding guitar man, but this was one of the first times I’ve really ever noticed how great he sings backup. Bono obviously has the center stage when it comes to vocals, but his whole band sings well. I’m glad that we got to be there with Morgan & Jessie too. Good times. Good memories. Tack another ticket stub on the wall of fame. What a good night!

So it was 12:30 when we finally got home and picked up the two sleeping little ones from my mom’s, then to bed by 1:00 am. It was one of those “You’ve got to be kidding me” moments when the 6:00 am alarm jolted me out my practically comatose state. I was thinking, “There’s no way I even slept for 5 minutes!” although I knew I hadn’t moved a muscle in the last 5 hours. You know that feeling?? Thankfully, Wednesday is a rest day on the training schedule, so my Asics stayed comfortably perched on my shoe shelf for the day. Until last night, that is, when I got home from work and tied them on again to go play 2 hours of volleyball. What a fun time! The women in our stake just started volleyball again this week, so we’re playing Wednesday nights from 8-10 for the next month. I love it! My bed was a sight for sore eyes last night. So glad I caught up a little on the sleep with close to 7 hours. But I ran again early this morning and I’m still feeling sleep deprived now at lunchtime. Thankfully, I know it’s nothing a good nap and an 8-hour sleep night won’t fix. Not sure how I could possibly finagle a nap over the next few days, but bedtime will hopefully come early tonight…

Still, life is good. So, so, good. As Beth would say, I’m not complaining, I’m reporting. So grateful to have this body, this strong heart and lungs, these powerful legs that keep moving me forward. What a gift to have health!

Feet on the Ground

"If you want children to keep their feet on the ground, put some responsibility on their shoulders. " - Abigail Van Buren

I was looking for a good quote today to use on a special project, and I came across this one. I loved it. I am trying so hard to help my kids keep their feet on the ground in the midst of all the indulgence and excess in this world. Sometimes I worry that they have it too easy or that we don’t expect enough of them. Truly, they work hard in school and with their music. We expect great things. Actually, we expect them to do their best, but it just so happens that so far, their best has proven to be great. So the bar is set high. We expect them to help keep our house running by doing their share. Each child has been given “zones” that they are responsible for at home. That was Ryan’s idea, and I like it. Our beloved white board that hangs prominently as the only work of art (if you can call it that) in our laundry room is our method for communicating evening or weekend chores to the kids. “Go check the board.” The board needs to be cleared before playing. We expect them to earn and pay for some of the “extras” they want. Amazing how the “must haves” become less important when they are faced with parting with their own money.

But still…I wonder.

Are we really doing all we can/should to help keep them grounded by giving them responsibility? I think my parents did a good job raising my brother and I to understand the value of work, responsibility, and commitment by doing three things. First, they showed us by example. My parents have always worked hard. In the house, in the yard, in the church, in the service of others. Always working. My parents own more pairs of work gloves than anyone I know. Just yesterday, for example, they went over to my cousin J.R.’s house and mowed his yard so that he could focus on getting his house ready for move-in. They are always doing things like that. They have done a great job of instilling that work ethic in Michael and I, but are also now helping our kids, their grandkids, appreciate a good day’s labor. During the summer, Thursday mornings are traditionally “yard work” days at my parent’s house. The grandkids old enough to work hard and stay focused for a couple of straight hours are invited to come over and mow, weed, sweep, and do other necessary clean up. And it’s usually not just my parent’s acre lot, but the bonus of both my grandparent’s yards as well. (Grandpa Steve pays some good wages too. I tell him that he’s over paying the kids, but he tells me that they earned it.)

Second, my parents insisted that we make substantial contributions to the upkeep of our home and yard during our childhood/teen years. Everyone worked. Since it was just the two of us kids growing up, there was plenty of work to be shared. And if we “forgot” to do our chores before playing (not an acceptable choice), then we had a good “talking to” and some extra chores the next go round. It didn’t take long to figure out that we worked first and played later. Truly, it is amazing how much faster we worked when we had somewhere we really wanted to go or something fun we wanted to do.

When I was a young girl, my parents wanted to get their front yard landscaping done, but it needed some fill dirt spread to level the ground. Through some connection of which the details are now shady, they were able to obtain some very cheap (if not free) fill dirt, which they thought was a screamin’ deal. Unbeknownst to them, the fill dirt was laden with rocks.

Rocks, rocks, rocks.

So many rocks.

In fact, despite all our efforts to pick up and remove the rocks, they seemed to practically grow back every time they irrigated. Needless to say, both a common chore and an occasional punishment involved picking up rocks. But I was pretty wise in my youth. It didn’t take long to figure out that if I found a gigantic rock to fill half the bucket, then I could just cover it up with small ones and meet my bucket quota much quicker. I thought I had my parent’s fooled, but I’ve since learned that they knew my game all along. I remember on more than one occasion complaining to my dad about all the chores I had to do.

His simple, half-joking reply: “That’s why you have kids. When you have kids, you’ll do the same thing.”

But really, now that I am a mom, I know that he was not only teaching me to work for the benefit of our family at that time, but so that I would learn the life-long importance of work and responsibility. He wanted to keep me grounded. I so much appreciate the lessons both my parents taught me.

And thirdly, I think my parents helped us keep our feet on the ground by, ironically, giving us the freedoms we wanted, within reason, after we showed that we could be responsible and trusted. Trust is like a leash. It can be short and tight, or very long and free. I think all of us would admit that we like our freedom to choose and want to be trustworthy. That trust has to be earned. Of course, I made plenty of mistakes growing up and still make them all the time. Of course, there are choices I wish I’d made differently. But I was grateful to have had parents who let me choose, who gave me some freedom, who trusted me. I was taught by their example, I was trained to work with their encouragement, I was enlightened by the wisdom they shared, and I was given the freedom to bloom. Even though I sometimes start to float, I think my feet are planted pretty squarely on the ground. And much of that is due to the influence of my good parents. I pray that as Ryan and I forge ahead in the parenting of our four precious souls, that they’ll be able to look back as adults, with feet firmly planted, and recognize the lessons learned in their youth.

Here are a few scrapbook pages featuring my terrific kids.

A Time and a Season

I was just re-reading my blog from last night and I think I sounded a little whiny. I guess I shouldn’t blog at the end of the night following a marathon day :) But then again, I don’t know… I’ve always believed I should write what I feel. Periodically, I go back and browse through the writings of my past. I’ve been keeping a journal for a long, long time. Some entries are long-winded and seem more like an accounting of my life. But the entries that I find most valuable are the ones where I wrote about how I felt instead of just what I did. I believe that I have gained some valuable perspective as I’ve taken the opportunity to look back at those journals, realizing that I’ve:

endured some difficult trials,

been blessed with countless faith building experiences,

survived other crazy marathon days,

reached some goals and fallen short on others,

made an impact on the life of another,

been touched by the simple kindness of a good friend,

gained knowledge from wisdom shared by those much more learned than me,

loved being a mom since the day I first found out I was expecting baby #1,

been humbled by some stupid choices,

been uplifted by an unassuming compliment,

loved with all my heart,

been unduly frustrated by things out of my control,

said some things I wished I hadn’t,

laughed harder than I thought was possible,

been strengthened by the power of prayer,

been filled with gratitude on many, many occasions, and

developed some of the most invaluable friendships and relationships.

I have been blessed beyond measure in my life. Truly, truly blessed. And I’m glad I have so much of it written down. Some days really are lined with a bed of roses, and some we might wish away for ever. And some days are just days passing by on our way toward our next experience. There is a time and a season for all things. I really believe that.

I love these two scriptures.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8:

1 To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
2 A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
3 A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
4 A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
5 A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
6 A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
7 A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
8 A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.


Mosiah 4:27:

“And see that all these things are done in wisdom and order; for it is not requisite that a man should run faster than he has strength. And again, it is expedient that he should be diligent, that thereby he might win the prize; therefore, all things must be done in order.”

My Day "On"

It feels like I've been awake for a week. This day has lasted an eternity. As I sit here ready to pen my thoughts, I am feeling like I've done so much today - much more than I would have liked given that today is my "day off". Whatever that means. That phrase actually rubs me wrong. Yes, Tuesdays and Fridays are my "days off" my 3-day-a-week Pivotal career, but they are more "on" than any other days. They are the days I try to catch up on life. The days I clean, launder, run errands, shop, pay bills, go through mail, organize our home, work on projects, catch up on RMB work, check on properties, cook, tutor, and the list goes on...

So when someone at my office asks me how my "day off" was, I usually smile and say, "Good, but busy." They have no idea. I wonder if they think I sit at home relaxing and eating bon bons all day. Hmmmm...sounds pretty good right now actually. I could use something sweet.

Like most aspiring mothers and homemakers I'm sure, my days are robust and jam-packed with home, kids, "life."

Today I:

• Woke up 2 minutes before my phone alarm (like I do just about every day) at 5:28 am. That whole "internal alarm clock" thing is so wierd. It's like clockwork really (no pun intended).
• Ran a solid non-stop 4.2 miles (and felt great!) My training schedule this week is 19 miles (3, 4, 4, 8). Oh, the 8. I'm a little apprehensive about the 8. That will be the furthest I've ever run. Ever. I've ran a couple of 10k's in my life (= 6.4 miles) and I ran 6 last Saturday, but never 8.
• Took our suburban into the shop. The battery died.
• Went visiting teaching to Connie & Heather. I love both those ladies. Easton was my little shadow, but he was so dang good. I took the legos and he just built and built his little towers and cities and was happy as a clam.
• Picked up Ryan and toured our fix-and-flip investment (a work in progress) to check the status. It's coming along very nicely.
• Picked up the suburban. They replaced the battery, but then it almost stalled again this afternoon, so something else is clearly the matter. Tomorrow will be another fun car day:)
• Rode my bike with Easton in tow to J.R.'s new house. It's looking great. We are getting so excited for them to move into our ward.
• Lunched
• Did payroll and some other RMB work
• Washed sheets and ran laundry machine most of the afternoon.
• The usual housework. Thankfully no deep cleaning today.
• Picked up girls from the bus stop
• Took Afty to electric guitar lessons. She rocked again. Today's hit was "Rock You Like a Hurricane" by the Scorpions. She is doing so awesome! Thankfully, Barrett is old enough to ride the scooter to piano lessons since both girls have lessons at the same time.
• Grocery shopped
• Cooked some tasty dinner (pork chops, fresh fruit, seasoned onion potatoes, cut veggies, and hot bread). The troops love that meal. It's a winner every time.
• Bathed the youngers.
• Supervised the nightly routine (homework, prep for morning, house clean up, etc.)
• Mail, bills, office paperwork

And now I'm taking a few minutes to write. Nothing really special or deep today, just documenting my life and my thoughts before I forget about today...We forget so easily. Why is that? Maybe to make room up there for the next day and the next. I'm glad I've got a good memory and the desire to keep a record of my life, both for me and for my posterity. Even on days like today when it was just regular life. Someday maybe I'll look back and have a different perspective about this day. Who knows?

Thoughts from the Weekend

I have so many thoughts running through my mind right now. Such a busy weekend. So much to be grateful for. So much to pray about. I think I'll save the heavy stuff for another post. Maybe tomorrow I'll have the gusto to blog about my dear Bishop Uncle Jim. I have cried so many times over the last couple of days as I've talked with so many friends in our ward who have asked for the update. We are fasting for him tomorrow and praying daily that he'll do great with his chemo. What a battle he has ahead.

On a lighter note, the last couple of days have been jam packed - but good, productive, fun, and worth while. Yesterday morning I got a bunch of much needed painting projects done around the house. I finally covered the stripes on our outside stucco pillar with Mesa Tan. Our trellis that held a wall climbing plant fell down several months ago, exposing several stripes of the "old" much lighter paint color where the trellis support beams had once been. So every time I've pulled into my driveway or jogged by the house, those stripes have just stared me down. Well no more. Stripes be gone! Then I was on to covering the two drywall patches above our home office french doors with Norman Brown and the wall above it with Cottage White. We took the old drapes and hardware down and had our guy patch it up, so that project is now done as well. Finally, I wrapped up the last project - painting the wall patches in the family room above the Arcadia door with Dune. Courtesy of my #3, who was either doing a Tarzan swing from the drapes or just pulled with her super human strength and brought the drapes (and rod and brackets to the floor), we had a jynormous hole that needed to be filled. Again, drywall wizard to the rescue. Now that I've repainted, I just need to get the second half of the drapes hung back up so we can stop living in a fishbowl. I hate having that huge glass door open to view, even if it's just to the backyard. Feels a little creepy.

Anyway, the rest of Friday was packed with fixing computers at the RMB office and my grandpa's house, grocery shopping, making reminder calls for the ward potluck dinner we had tonight, shuttling kids to primary activity day, and quilting. I made the most stinkin adorable quilt for my girlfriend, Andrea. I'll post the pics tomorrow. I love Andrea. She is such a doll and so much fun. She's 36 and this is her first and likely only baby, so it's a pretty awesome deal. Today was her baby shower over at my friend Nettie's house. So much fun by the way - just visiting with all my dear neighborhood friends and celebrating the soon to be arrival of Andrea's baby girl, Lauren Annabelle. Love that name too.

Date night with Ryan was terrific last night. We cruised down to Mill Avenue and ate at Z Tejas. We hadn't been there in forever and were itching to go somewhere out of the ordinary. We seem to migrate to our 5 favorites pretty often, so we were trying to bust out of the norm. Good choice. Dinner was excellent - we split a salad and appetizer, tried the special and loved it. Then we walked off dinner a bit, cruising up and down Mill Avenue, taking in all things eclectic and strange in our environment. Mill reminds me so much of Santa Monica Blvd, with all the street performers, free souls acting out their individualism in odd ways, walks of life from all over. People watching at it's finest. Truth be told, I felt a little out of my element there. Definitely the college age crowd, feeding from ASU. But it brought back memories of my college days at ASU and early dating days with Ryan. We both lived in Tempe during the year we dated, then stayed there another 4 years after we were married, so we have many good times logged in that part of town. Our first date, in fact, was at Balboa Cafe (no longer there) on Mill, followed by an outdoor concert in the amphatheatre area there. A band called Congo Shock. We reminisced about that last night too.

Then today was a whirlwind. Ryan was gone at scout training all day (7-4). Thank goodness for Barrett. She was an angel. She had to babysit 4 different times today. I would have been lost without her! And a humungous GRACIAS to my madre too. She worked so hard today helping get her driveway cleaned and ready for the ward party tonight, picking up tables and chairs from Jim's next door, and helping with the set up and take down. She is such a God-send every single day. This was our first ward party since getting my new calling as Ward Activities Director. And although it was just a simple adult dinner, it turned out great. Nice ambiance with the lanterns, table decor and music. The 70 degree weather and breeze I ordered didn't arrive as hoped, but we Arizonians are used to it. We had a nice turnout - 60 or so - so I'd say it was a success. Everyone seemed to enjoy the food, visiting, and social interaction. But before the potluck party tonight, the day was full. I ran, baked cookies for the shower, finished the quilt, went to the shower, did housework, made some spicy delicious chili for the potluck, and set up for the potluck. Post party: cleaned up, had an orientation meeting with the prior ward activities director, got the peeps in bed, worked on my lesson for Rowan's primary class that I'm subbing tomorrow, now finally taking a breather to write. It seems like I've been on my feet all day. I can't wait to go hit the hay.

Tomorrow will bring a new day: one filled with worship, rest, and family. I love Sunday.

Sleeping

One of the cool features about iPhoto (the photo organizing software on my Mac) is that I can add key words to all of my photos (like beach, Easton, Halloween, cabin, etc.) and thereby make my database of 13,000+ digital pics totally searchable. I love that. It has come in handy so many times. I'm still not done adding all the key words to old pictures (that will take some time for sure), but I have done a few thousand and every time I upload a new batch, I take the time to add the key words and at least stay current with the newest additions.


Anyway, as I sit here thinking that it's 11:50 pm and I've been up since 5:30 am, jogged, biked, shopped, cooked, and basically been on my feet for a huge portion of the day, I should really be sleeping now. Good thing tomorrow is a rest day on my training schedule. Anyway, the thought of sleep made me think of some great "sleeping" pictures I've taken over the years. So I did a search in iPhoto for sleeping. Here are just a few of them. This is what I should be doing right now. Goodnight.

The Original Instant Message

Today at lunch I went to the bookstore to get a new book I've been thinking about, then straight to Blimpie around the corner to grab a quick club on wheat. My usual. A little provolone, mustard, mayo, lettuce. Perfecto. I'm simple like that. As I'm standing in line to pay, I notice an ad by the register boasting the tag line, "The original instant message." It is overlayed on a picture of a young woman (mid-20's) sitting in her car, with her man leaning in for a kiss. The subtext of the ad said, "Make Face Time." It was a promo for Dentyne mints (which Blimpie happened to be selling right by the register.)

Anyway, it made me think. A good ad should do that. My first train of thought began with thinking about Ryan (I'm sure the man/woman kissing picture influenced that). I smiled as I thought about how much I love that he makes a point of giving me a kiss very first thing when I walk in the door (or when he comes home from work). Or when we wake up. Before anything else, the kiss. To let me know he loves me. The original instant message. I think sometimes we get busy in life with kids, work, errands, homework, house, church callings, hobbies, life, etc. and don't take the time to let our husbands know that they still rock our world. It was a good little reminder for me. Ryan does rock my world and he needs to know that - always.

The mind reels that there could be more, I know. But after this train of thought had flown down the tracks, the kaboose followed with a little more reflection. I liked the word play on the original instant message, as it clearly drove home the point that in today's world, everything seems to be about the media. Good old fashioned communication (actual talking and face-to-face interaction) often gets replaced with texting, emailing, Facebooking, online chatting, twittering, etc. Don't get me wrong - those things can be good, in moderation, and certainly have their place and time. Sometimes the quick text is a life saver. Sometimes reconnecting with an old friend on Facebook is the only way. But when it comes to really sending a message that matters, to someone we care about, nothing can replace a little real face time, some real affection, the original instant message.