Body Image

Last night we had a great Relief Society meeting. A couple of sisters, one of whom (April Price) lives in an adjacent ward in our stake, came and spoke to the combined group of young women and Relief Society sisters about body image in today’s society. Their presentation was remarkable on many fronts. Their younger sister was diagnosed with an eating disorder about 3 years ago and admitted to medical rehab type clinic in Utah. April and her sister, Rachel, spoke to us about what they learned there and that they felt strongly that there was a message that needed to be shared. They have shared the presentation that we heard last night many, many times over the past three years.

I was floored as they showed statistic after statistic supporting the sad reality that young women and women in our society today have a pathetic view of their own bodies. Only 2% of women worldwide would describe themselves as beautiful. They said that 2/3rds of young women age 11-16 fear getting fat over getting cancer, a nuclear bomb, or their parents dying. In California, the #1 most wished for and granted high school graduation present is breast implants. Over 300,000 girls under age 18 get cosmetic surgery each year. The average amount spent my most leading magazines on optimizing their cover picture (both by human efforts and digital modifications) is $60,000. By the time we see the magazine images, they are of people who do not exist. They are genetic impossibilities. And I can’t remember the specifics on all the other stats, but over and over again they reported astonishing percentages of women who are dissatisfied with their bodies.

They reported that 30 years ago, the average model was 5’8” and weighed 132 pounds. Today, the average model is 5’10” and weighs 110 pounds.

Jennifer Aniston, while filming “Friends” years back, was working out 8 hours per day then filming 9 hours per day to meet the social ideal of the perfect body. Even then, it wasn’t enough. When she was featured on the cover of Redbook, they digitally altered her body to make her even thinner, and she sued. When Sandra Bullock starred in Miss Congeniality, she had 5 different body doubles, depending on what feature of her body they were filming.

Crazy. And the bottom line…all that today’s media does to portray the perfect body, the perfect face, the perfect hair, the perfect clothes…it boils down to money. If the advertisers can make us feel bad enough about ourselves or inadequate, then we will go out and spend money trying to “fix” things. The adversary is trying hard to make us feel less than we are. He knows that the women living in today’s world have to be valiant and strong to overcome the incredible temptations in our society.

Three gems that I loved from their presentation:

1) April said, “I have never looked through a Pottery Barn catalog and felt better about my house after having done so.” The same holds true with just about every magazine we pick up.
2) They played a bunch of clips throughout the program from various general authorities and leaders of the general Relief Society and Young Women’s Boards. One was from Sister Tanner. I am paraphrasing, but in essence, she said that she learned a great lesson from her mother growing up. Sister Tanner suffered from serious complexion issues as a teenager, and her parents helped her seek medical attention to clear it up. She changed her diet and eliminated greasy foods and such, but still had a bad problem. Exasperated, Sister Tanner was left feeling bad about herself. Her mother taught her valuable lesson. She told Sister Tanner that we need to do all that we can to make ourselves beautiful and presentable before we leave the house. But as soon as we walk out that door, forget about ourselves and start thinking about how to best serve others. I love that. I, too, agree that we need to be groomed and spend some time making ourselves as lovely as we can, but then let it go, forget the looks, and just enjoy life and serve others.

3) At the beginning of the presentation, April retold a story that she was told by Amy Ahlstrom, our Stake President’s wife. Amy’s friend, Carol, had a neighbor who religiously walked his three dogs every day. Carol would often see him out and about on the streets and passing by her home with those three pets. One was a greyhound, one was German Shepherd, and one was a small poodle. Carol wondered if the poodle ever wished it had long, slim legs like the greyhound. Or whether the greyhound wished it had the beautiful coat of the German Shepherd. Or whether the greyhound wished it was small and petite like the poodle. MOST CERTAINLY THEY DID NOT. And even if the greyhound wished and wished and wished, every day, and worried and worried and worried, and dieted and exercised till the cows come home…that greyhound would never be small and petite like the poodle or have the coat of the German Shepherd. That greyhound came from a greyhound mama and a greyhound papa. Being a poodle or a German Shepherd was a genetic impossibility.

I could make the connection to complete the analogy, but I am sure you all get the point.

So…I was thinking all about it all night and, admittedly, I am a little guilty of wishing I had the legs of a greyhound or was petite like the poodle. I know I suffer from body image stress at times. If we are honest, I think we all do. How can we not to some extent with all the media messages we are bombarded with daily? I’ve never been one to stress about the scale. In fact, I’ll go months without standing on it. I want to feel comfortable in my clothes, of course, but I don’t obsess about the weight. Life is too short. And I don’t diet. I like food too much. But I do compare myself to others. I do wish my “problem” areas would just melt away. I do long for so-and-so’s skin, and so-and-so’s legs, and so-and-so’s height. I wish that the boobs still looked as good as they did 20 years ago, and the back fat rolls would spontaneously dissolve. Truly, I think that’s how we’ve been culturally sensitized to think. There’s always an ideal to shoot for and it’s not often what’s staring back at us in the mirror.

I loved April’s reassuring messages of hope and reminders about our purpose in life. As I thought about body image, and more importantly, what messages I am conveying to my dear, beautiful pre-teen girls about their body image, I reaffirmed that I just want all of us to LIVE STRONG. My mantra for 2010: LIVE STRONG. If we are eating healthy and regularly exercising and getting enough sleep and avoiding harmful substances (sound familiar…Word of Wisdom 101), then we must be happy with the resulting bodies that God gave us. And I think, generally, I am. These past couple of years as I’ve made changes in my life to be more fit and eat better and get more sleep, I’ve really decided that WELLNESS is a state of mind, not a state of being.

As I end this very long post, I hope that all of us can remember that we were given the bodies we have and born to the families we were born to for a reason. Each of has come to this earth to gain a physical body and be tested. I hope we can pass the test. If you missed April & Rachel’s presentation last night, you missed a good one. I was so touched and inspired.